20 Hadith: What Does Islam Say About Sex and Husband-Wife Relations

According to the Quran, sexuality is a natural and divinely given part of human life that is intended to promote peace, love, and compassion between spouses (Surah Ar-Rum 30:21). Islam openly acknowledges the powerful sexual urge while directing it into the sacred framework of marriage (nikah), which functions as both a legal and spiritual contract emphasising mutual consent, rights, and responsibilities. This contrasts with some cultural misconceptions that depict Islam as prudish or repressive. Procreation is the main goal of sex: to create families and uphold the ummah. Still, it also serves as a means of emotional bonding and mutual pleasure, which are considered acts of worship when carried out with good intentions. To protect individuals, families, and society from moral and social harms, historical Islamic texts, such as the Quran and Hadith, discuss sex pragmatically. They advocate foreplay, hygiene, and consent to ensure fulfillment for both partners while strictly forbidding extramarital relations (zina).

The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) advocated marriage as half of one’s faith, cautioned against monasticism, and upheld the idea that lawful sex preserves chastity and fosters spiritual development. This holistic approach sets Islamic sexual morality apart from ascetic traditions such as those in early Christianity, where celibacy was idealised. As long as they don’t cause harm, impurities, or prohibitions like anal intercourse or relations during menstruation, flexibility in positions and techniques is acceptable in marriage. Islam, however, upholds strict prohibitions against homosexuality, premarital sex, and other transgressions—not because they are taboo, but rather to harmonise human desires with divine wisdom and encourage modesty (haya) outside of intimate relationships. Modern issues brought about by colonialism and secularism have occasionally resulted in skewed perceptions, but the fundamental lessons—that sex is a boon for recreation, procreation, and devotion, rewarding the devout with spiritual elevation and marital harmony—

What Does Islam Say About Sex?

Within the parameters of a marriage between a husband and wife, sex is accepted and even encouraged in Islam as a natural, God-given instinct. As long as it complies with Islamic law, it is regarded as a kind of worship (ibadah) when done with the goal of achieving marital rights, procreation, and mutual enjoyment. According to Surah Ar-Rum (30:21), the Quran and Hadith place a strong emphasis on the idea that sexual relations should foster compassion, love, and peace between spouses. “And one of His signs is that He made mates for you out of all of you so that you could find peace in them; and He put love and compassion between you.” However, in order to preserve health and purity, certain behaviors within marriage are prohibited, as is sex outside of marriage (zina). Islam views sex as a blessing rather than a taboo, and it encourages modesty, consent, and hygiene in all intimate matters. However, in order to prevent sin, sex must only be used in halal (permissible) situations.

Islam and Sex Before Marriage

Premarital sex is strictly forbidden in Islam since it is considered zina (fornication), a serious sin. In Surah Al-Isra (17:32), the Quran expressly prohibits it: Additionally, avoid engaging in illegal sexual activity. Indeed, it is always immoral and evil in some way. Premarital sex is viewed as detrimental to people, families, and society as a whole because it can result in unintended pregnancies, emotional distress, and social instability. According to traditional jurisprudence, zina encompasses any extramarital sexual activity, and Surah An-Nur (24:2) specifies punishments such as flogging (100 lashes) for unmarried individuals. The prevailing scholarly consensus among Sunni and Shia schools is that contextual understanding is haram (forbidden), despite some progressive interpretations to the contrary. Sincere tawbah (repentance) can lead to repentance, but the act is still sinful.

Oral Sex and Islam

Although scholars have differing views on oral sex between spouses, it is generally accepted as acceptable (halal) provided that there are no impurities (such as urine or semen entering the mouth) and that both parties consent. Since neither the Quran nor genuine Hadith specifically forbade it, many jurists (such as those of the Hanafi and Shafi’i schools) permit it as a component of foreplay because they believe that a spouse’s body is pure. However, because of the mouth’s function in worship (such as prayer) or possible health hazards, some people view it as makruh (disliked). It turns into haram if it results in the ingestion of contaminated liquids. According to scholars like Mufti Menk, it is not prohibited by any particular Hadith. It is prohibited and zina outside of marriage.

Islam and Same-Sex Marriage

According to stories from the Quran, such as the story of the people of Lut (Lot) in Surah Al-A’raf (7:80–81), homosexual acts are considered haram, and same-sex marriage is not recognised in Islam. When Lot asked his people, “Do you commit such immorality as no one has preceded you with from among the worlds?” [We had sent] Lot. You do, in fact, approach men with desire rather than women. Instead, you are a transgressor. According to traditional interpretations from both Sunni and Shia major schools, same-sex relationships and marriage are forbidden because they are seen as going against the natural order of male-female unions for family and procreation. Though contemporary progressive Muslim voices call for compassion and reinterpretation, arguing that the Quran condemns excess or coercion rather than orientation itself, punishments for sodomy (liwat) can be harsh in some jurisdictions. Nonetheless, same-sex unions are generally regarded as unlawful under Sharia.

Anal Sex in Islam

Regardless of consent, anal sex is universally forbidden (haram) in Islam for both spouses. In a Hadith, the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) stated unequivocally that “Allah will not look at a person who has anal intercourse with his wife” (Sunan Ibn Majah). In Surah Al-Baqarah (2:223), the Quran suggests vaginal exclusivity by comparing wives to a “tilth” (farmland) for sowing seeds, which scholars understand to mean only vaginal sex. It is viewed as damaging, unclean, and contrary to the goals of sex (pleasure and reproduction). Although some marja’ (authorities) consider it to be makruh (disliked) rather than completely haram, the majority of Shia jurisprudence forbids it outright. Although it is a serious sin, committing it necessitates repentance and does not end marriage.

Difference Between Love and Sex in Islam

In Islam, sex (jimāʿ) and love (hubb or mawaddah) are related but separate concepts. According to Surah Ar-Rum (30:21), which emphasizes affection beyond physicality, love is a profound emotional, spiritual, and merciful bond that Allah has ordained for peace and companionship. Before marriage, it can exist in a platonic manner and involves sacrifice, kindness, and emotional support (though romantic relationships are discouraged to avoid temptation). However, sex is the outward manifestation of that love and is only allowed in marriage to satisfy halal desires and avoid zina. Since sex should be used to strengthen marital bonds rather than just for pleasure, lust (shahwa) without love is discouraged. This was demonstrated by the Prophet’s (PBUH) tenderness and racing with his wife, Aisha. Differentiating them: Sex keeps a relationship going physically, but without love, it turns into an exploitative and sinful activity.

Dos and Don’ts of Sex in Islam

slam provides clear guidelines for sexual relations between spouses to ensure mutual respect, health, and piety. Here’s a summary in table form:

Dos (Permissible/Encouraged)	Don’ts (Prohibited/Disliked)
Foreplay, kissing, and touching any part of the spouse’s body (except during menstruation).	Anal intercourse (haram).
Vaginal intercourse in any position (front, back, side), as long as it’s consensual.	Sex during menstruation or postpartum bleeding (haram; Surah Al-Baqarah 2:222).
Oral sex (if no impurity is ingested; generally halal but makruh for some).	Sex during daytime fasting in Ramadan (haram; Surah Al-Baqarah 2:187).
Having the intention for Allah’s sake, procreation, or mutual pleasure.	Approaching spouses while angry or without consent (violates rights).
Bathing together or playful intimacy to build love.	Nudity in public view or exposing awrah (private parts) unnecessarily.
Pronouncing “Bismillah” before intercourse for protection from Satan.	Masturbation or using toys if it replaces spousal intimacy (generally makruh).
Satisfying the spouse’s needs regularly (husband’s duty to wife and vice versa).	Sex in mosques or while reciting Quran on the body (makruh).

emphasisingThese are derived from Hadith and fiqh, emphasizing consent, hygiene (ghusl after ejaculation), and avoiding harm.

Fasting and Sex in Islam

Sexual activity is strictly forbidden during fasting (sawm), particularly during Ramadan, from sunrise (Fajr) to sunset (Maghrib). This is because it breaks the fast and necessitates atonement (kaffarah), which can be either feeding 60 poor people, freeing a slave, or fasting for 60 days in a row (Surah Al-Mujadila 58:4). “It is permissible for you to have sexual relations with your wives on the night of the fast, but not during the day,” the Quran says in Surah Al-Baqarah (2:187). If it doesn’t cause arousal or ejaculation, kissing or light touching is acceptable; however, complete intimacy must wait until nightfall. The fast is broken if it is unintentionally broken (for example, by forgetting), but qada (make-up fast) is sufficient in the absence of full kaffarah. Unless otherwise noted, the same guidelines apply to voluntary fasts that are not during Ramadan. It is advised to have sex at night during Ramadan in order to rejuvenate.

How to Have Sex Between Husband and Wife in Islam

With an emphasis on foreplay and mutual fulfillment, Islamic teachings promote a loving, reciprocal approach to sex. As the Prophet (PBUH) stated: “Let none of you come upon his wife like an animal; let there be an emissary between them” (referring to foreplay; Sunan al-Tirmidhi), the husband should arouse his wife with gentle words, kisses, and caresses prior to penetration. Vaginal intercourse from the side, back, or front is permitted, but only with consent and without causing harm. The importance of hygiene. After an orgasm, take a ghusl (full bath) and make sure you’re clean. Private sex, with lights dimmed if desired, should conclude with a dua for virtuous children. Since a wife has a right to be satisfied, the objective is pleasure for both parties. Take your time and establish emotional closeness first.

Husband and Wife Sex Methods in Islam in Urdu

اسلام میں شوہر اور بیوی کے درمیان جنسی تعلقات کے طریقے پر زور دیا جاتا ہے کہ یہ باہمی رضامندی، محبت اور صفائی کے ساتھ ہوں۔ قرآن پاک میں سورۃ البقرہ (2:223) میں فرمایا گیا: “تمہاری بیویاں تمہارے لیے کھیت ہیں، پس اپنے کھیت کی طرف جاؤ جیسے چاہو” (ترجمہ: Your wives are a tilth for you, so approach your tilth however you wish)۔ یہ vaginal تعلقات کی اجازت دیتا ہے، مختلف پوزیشنز جیسے سامنے سے، پیچھے سے یا سائیڈ سے، لیکن anal یا menstrual کے دوران منع ہے۔

طریقہ کار:

• فور پلے (پیش مقدمہ): شوہر کو بیوی کو چومنے، چھونے اور محبت بھری باتیں کرنے چاہییں تاکہ وہ مطمئن ہو۔ حدیث میں ہے: “کوئی شخص اپنی بیوی پر جانور کی طرح نہ ٹوٹ پڑے، بلکہ ان کے درمیان ایک دूत بھیجے” (سنن ترمذی) – یعنی foreplay کریں۔
• پوزیشنز: Vaginal penetration میں لچک ہے، لیکن بیوی کی آرام کو ترجیح دیں۔ بیوی بھی فعال ہو سکتی ہے۔
• صفائی: جماع کے بعد غسل کریں۔ “بسم اللہ” کہہ کر شروع کریں تاکہ شیطان سے حفاظت ہو۔
• حقوق: شوہر بیوی کی جنسی ضروریات پوری کرے، اور بیوی بھی۔ اگر بیوی نافرمان ہو تو نصیحت کریں، لیکن زبردستی نہ کریں۔

What Does the Quran Say About Husband and Wife Sex? References with Urdu and English Translation

The Quran discusses marital sex positively, emphasizing permissibility, mutual rights, and limits. Key verses:

1. Surah Al-Baqarah (2:223) English: “Your wives are a tilth for you, so approach your tilth [have sexual relations with your wives] in any manner as long as it is from the vagina. And come to your crops [prepare for your journey] beforehand, and fear Allah, and know that you will meet Him. And give good tidings to the believers.” (Sahih International) Urdu: “تمہاری بیویاں تمہارے لیے کھیت ہیں، پس اپنے کھیت کی طرف جاؤ جیسے چاہو، اور اپنے لیے آگے بھیج دو، اور اللہ سے ڈرو، اور جان لو کہ تم اس سے ملنے والے ہو، اور مسلمانوں کو خوشخبری دے دو۔” (ترجمہ: مولانا فتح محمد جالندھری)
2. Surah Al-Baqarah (2:187) English: “Permitted to you, on the night of the fasts, is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and you are their garments. Allah knows that you were to deceive yourselves, so He accepted your repentance and forgave you. So now have relations with them and seek that which Allah has decreed for you.” (Sahih International) Urdu: “صوم کی راتوں میں تمہارے لیے تمہاری بیویوں سے ہم بنیادی اجازت ہے، وہ تمہارے لیے لباس ہیں اور تم ان کے لیے لباس ہو، اللہ کو معلوم ہو گیا کہ تم خود کو دھوکہ دیتے تھے، پس اس نے تمہاری توبہ قبول کر لی اور تمہیں معاف کر دیا، اب ان سے ملاقات کرو اور جو اللہ نے تمہارے لیے مقرر کیا اس کی تلاش کرو۔” (ترجمہ: مولانا فتح محمد جالندھری)
3. Surah An-Nur (24:30-31) English: “Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts… And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts…” (Sahih International) – Promotes modesty in sex. Urdu: “مومن مردوں سے کہہ دو کہ وہ اپنی نگاہیں نیچی رکھیں اور اپنے فرج کی حفاظت کریں… اور مومن عورتوں سے کہہ دو کہ وہ اپنی نگاہیں نیچی رکھیں اور اپنے فرج کی حفاظت کریں…” (ترجمہ: مولانا فتح محمد جالندھری)
4. Surah Ar-Rum (30:21) English: “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (Sahih International) Urdu: “اور اس کی نشانیوں میں سے ہے کہ اس نے تمہارے لیے تمہاری ہی جنس سے جوڑے پیدا کیے تاکہ تم ان میں سکون پاؤ، اور اس نے تمہارے درمیان محبت اور رحم رکھا، بے شک اس میں نشانیاں ہیں ان لوگوں کے لیے جو غور کرتے ہیں۔” (ترجمہ: مولانا فتح محمد جالندھری)

These verses highlight sex as a merciful, permissible act within marriage, with boundaries for piety.

What Does Hadith Say About Sex? Quote 20 Hadith About Sex

Hadith collections like Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim, Sunan Abu Dawood, and others provide guidance on sexual etiquette, prohibitions, and rewards. Here are 20 authentic Hadith (with English translations; graded sahih unless noted):

1. “When one of you has intercourse with his wife, let him say: ‘In the name of Allah. O Allah, keep the devil away from us and keep the devil away from what you provide us with.’ If Allah decrees a child for them, the devil will never harm it.” (Sahih Bukhari 3271)
2. “Let none of you come upon his wife like an animal, let there be an emissary between them.” When asked what is the emissary, he replied: “The kiss and sweet words.” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi 109; Hasan)
3. “The best of you are those who are best to their wives.” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi 1162; Sahih)
4. “Whoever has intercourse with his wife through her vagina but approaches her from the back, he is not like the fornicator.” (Sunan Abu Dawood 2162; Sahih)
5. “Do not have anal sex with women.” (Sunan Ibn Majah 1924; Sahih)
6. “When a man calls his wife to bed and she refuses, and he spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning.” (Sahih Bukhari 3237)
7. “In your world, women and perfume are my weakness, but prayer is the coolness of my eyes.” (Sunan Ibn Majah 4142; Sahih) – Indicating appreciation for spousal intimacy.
8. “Three things of this world of yours were made lovable to me: women, perfume, and the coolness of my eye – prayer – has been made the dearest to me.” (Sunan an-Nasa’i 3934; Sahih)
9. “Any woman who dies while her husband is pleased with her will enter Paradise.” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi 1161; Sahih)
10. “When the son of Adam enters the time of sexual maturity, he will have no excuse before Allah.” (Musnad Ahmad; Sahih) – On controlling desires.
11. “The believer who has the most complete faith is the one with the best character, and the best of you are those who are best to their wives.” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi 2612; Sahih)
12. “Hell is veiled by desires, and Paradise is veiled by hardships.” (Sahih Bukhari 6487) – Relating to controlling sexual urges outside marriage.
13. “Whoever guarantees me (the chastity of) what is between his jaws and what is between his legs, I guarantee him Paradise.” (Sahih Bukhari 6474)
14. “The man should not fall upon his wife like a camel but let him approach her gently.” (Sunan Ibn Majah 1994; Hasan)
15. “It is not lawful for a woman to fast (Nawafil) when her husband is present except with his permission.” (Sahih Bukhari 5192) – Extending to sexual rights.
16. “If a man invites his wife to his bed and she refuses to come, the angels send curse on her till morning.” (Sahih Muslim 1436)
17. “When anyone of you has sexual relations with his wife, let him take care of his family provision as it is an obligation upon him.” (Sunan Abu Dawood 2146; Weak but commonly cited)
18. “The reward of sex is like giving charity.” (Sahih Muslim 1006) – On marital sex as sadaqah.
19. “Do not approach your wives while they are in menstruation.” (Sahih Bukhari 306)
20. “Whoever sees a woman and desires her, let him go to his wife and have intercourse with her.” (Musnad Ahmad 24930; Hasan) – To fulfill desires halal

conclusion:

Islam provides a comprehensive and well-balanced framework for sexuality, seeing it as a gift from God that, when used within the holy confines of marriage, promotes love, peace, and spiritual development between a husband and wife. Intimacy is encouraged as an act of worship that satisfies emotional, physical, and reproductive needs, while extramarital affairs, anal intercourse, and other actions considered harmful or impure are strictly forbidden. The Quran and Hadith place a strong emphasis on mutual consent, kindness, and hygiene. This strategy promotes a middle ground where sex is not taboo nor unrestricted but rather a way to fortify marital ties and preserve social harmony, in contrast to both oppressive and excessively permissive cultural attitudes.

Please read the related post:The Daily Islamic Messages to Inspire Your Heart day.